My Time to Try
by Lydia Irving
Summary: Rose and Dimitri come from completly different backrounds; Rose is part of a strict Amish community and Dimitri is your classic bad-boy. Can they work past their differences? Or will the people they love most keep them apart? Extremly OOC.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello Readers! First I would like to say that this will not affect my story Moving On in anyway. I will still be updating it as much as possible. **

**I would also like to warn you that this isn't your classic Rose and Dimitri story; Rose is quite and reserved and Dimitri is the bad boy. I like the classic Rose and Dimitri as much as the next person, but I felt the need to do something a little different for once. **

**I don't know much about Amish culture, so if anyone would like to point out a mistake or give some advice it would be greatly appreciated. **

**This story is rated T for the moment because of Dimitri, which could be changed to an M rating in later chapters just for safety.**

**I hope you enjoy this first chapter, let me know if you think I should continue. **

**Disclaimer- The characters in this story belong to the great Richelle Mead, I only own a few characters and this plot. **

**xoxo**

**-Lydia **

Rose was helping her mother prepare dinner when her baby sister Rebecca dropped a glass on the floor causing a sharp ring to sound through the halls of their home. Rose's mother Janine, who was usually quite patient, rolled her eyes heavenward as if asking for strength and then bent down to start picking up the shattered pieces. She hadn't said a word to Rebecca yet, who was standing there with her hands pulled in under her chin and her eyes cast downward, seeming unsure if she should fix her mistake and help her mother clean or if she should hang back and stay out of her way.

Her sweet brown eyes met Rose's and Rose gave her a small smile as she stood at the stove stirring the soup that her mother had made to warm the boys up after coming in from outside. Eventually Rebecca knelt down and started to help her mother and Rose was left, still stirring in silence. It was usually quite at their house now, what with her older sister Sarah married as well as her older brother Caleb. And with her father and John still out working the house was left to Rebecca, Rose and their mother. Rebecca, being only six, didn't have as heavy a work load as her sister and mother, and so nearly everything that was in relation to the house was left to the two women.

Rose wasn't the kind of girl that slacked off on her work, she did everything to the best of her ability and she took joy in pleasing her family with what she could offer them. But despite that joy, Rose always found herself looking for something more, and that thought always ashamed her. One day she would become part of the church, she would court a nice boy and then maybe get married. She even looked forward to kid-filled environment that she had been raised in as a child; she wanted that. But she also felt that deep longing in her heart that yearned for something more, something exciting outside of their safe little community.

Rose had been on _Rumspringa_ for almost a year now, the time where Amish teenagers were given a little leniency and could immerse themselves in the way of the English. She had some friends who wore some English clothes, and when she was younger she had caught her brother Caleb smoking one night during his time. It was basically the time that they had to experiment with the English customs and when it was over they would make the decision to join The Order and become part of the church or to live with the English. Most people had their fun and then came back, joined the church and eventually got married. There were always the few who liked the English customs too much to give it up; even if it meant losing the community that they had been raised in. It seemed like an easy enough choice for Rose, up on till now she hadn't even taken advantage of this time, so why would she feel conflicted about something that was so obviously spelt out for her. Everything she knew was in this community; her family her friends, her faith. And every single one of them was wrapped up into this life. Why would she ever feel the need for anything else? She had an itch that she needed to scratch, that was it.

OoOoOoOoOoO

When the boys came in from the fields their cheeks, noses and ears were bright red as they came stumbling into the house and sighed at the feeling of warmth washing over them; their loud sniffling echoing through the house as they tried to get rid of the cold moister pooling at their cold noses. The house was heated by a giant woodstove that was located in the living room. In the morning, when the flames had been left all night to die down, the house was chilly, but when that monster got going you could hardly stand to be in the same room with it, no matter the temperature outside; it could melt paint. But right now as the whole family; Ibrahim, Janine, John, Rose and little Rebecca sat down for dinner the house felt safe and comfortable.

Dinner was usually a quite affair, probably because Rose's father and bother were shoveling food in their mouths the entire time. Afterwards, as Rose and her mother got up to do the clearing John sat his giant paw on her shoulder and looked up at her with his big gray eyes, the same eyes that were on her mothers face, and complimented her cooking, "That was a great meal, Rose." She flushed with pride and continued her cleaning, giving a small smile every so often when she remembered her brother's praise. And then she recalled what she was planning on taking part in tonight and bit back that shame; what would John say then?

Later that night, Rose was in her bed twitching with anticipation that made her stomach roll and her heart clench. It was almost midnight and it wasn't long before Rose would have to get up and meet Katie. Unable to stand the waiting any longer, Rose through back the covers that were over her clothes and snuck down the stairs, flinching every time the ancient wood groaned in protest. By the time she finally reached the bottom, she was shaking with worry, she had never in her life done anything like this, and the very idea of breaking such a rule had her wanting to climb back up the stairs, change, and go to bed without a care in the world. But her promise to her friend and her eagerness for some fun kept her at the bottom of the steps until she grabbed a coat and walked out the front door.

The air was even colder at night without the sun to warm her, and her breath came out in large colored gusts. Her extremities were already beginning to go numb and her body was wracking with shivers, she couldn't wait to be in the car that Katie's friend was bringing so she could get the blood pumping through her again.

The night was filled with the sounds of nature, something that was peaceful to her in the day but was just plain scary at night. Each crunch of her boots on the light layer of snow made her feel even more alone; one pair of boots, nothing else. She had only walked for a small time before she caught sight of something bobbing in the distance. With closer examination she took a comforted sigh as she recognized Katie in her black cap and dress. Rose was dressed similarly in her black cap and dark blue dress; all unmarried girls wore the black cap over their buns.

Katie must have seen Rose at the same time because her pace increased until she finally came to a stop in front of Rose, both girls panting from running so hard through the snow. Katie spoke first, still panting from exertion, "I'm so glad I caught up with you this quickly, I was scared out of my mind in the dark!"

"Yah, me too." Rose answered. Unable to say anymore now that the panic had caught up with her again.

Just then they heard the sound of a car as Jeep pulled up and the door swung open to reveal a girl with blond hair behind the wheel. She was tall and skinny, that much was obvious even with her sitting down, and she had big green eyes and a kind smile on her face that instantly made Rose feel better. Katie climbed into the front seat and Rose opened the back door, sliding into a seat that was filled with bags.

"Sorry about the mess back there, I brought a whole bunch of clothes so we could figure out what looked best on you." The girl said, their eyes meeting in the mirror, "I'm Lissa, by the way."

Rose gave her a smile, "Rose, "she said, "Thank you for bringing the clothes for me."

"No problem." She said with another smile, and Rose knew that she liked Lissa already.

Rose started going through the bags, shocked that she would be wearing these clothes later. Everything was a rainbow of denim and soft fabric; she even caught sight of a lacey article of clothing that made her blush like crazy. She knew by the shape that it was obviously underwear, but the skimpy pieces of lace and silk were a far cry from the modest underwear that she was used to. Part of her was appalled at such an article, but another was hopeful that she would wear something so fine and beautiful. The idea of the forbidden was extremely temping and she couldn't help but wonder if she would look silly or beautiful wearing such a thing.

She was so lost in the clothes that she didn't realize the car had stopped until she heard a door open. Looking up, she saw Katie and Lissa both getting out of the car before Lissa opened the door opposite of Rose a picked up a bag. Rose got out, doing the same before she caught site of the house in front of them; the sound of music drifting outside. Rose's terror came back full force as she was ushered into the back of the car that was now bigger due to the seats being folded up. She climbed into the back as Lissa started throwing things at her. When she was done, she ended up wearing a black lacy bra and panties, stretchy black pants that Lissa called leggings, and a white top that was baggy, off the shoulder, and ripped in many places.

Rose wasn't familiar with English clothes, so she couldn't judge how she looked, but she knew she felt exposed in the hugging pants and the tattered shirt that was exposing a lot of skin. She shivered in the cool air, "Isn't there anything warmer in there?" she asked Lissa, her teeth chattering.

"Not really, you'll be inside the whole time anyway so it's not like it matters." She gave an indifferent shrug and started picking out clothes for Katie. Rose was less worried about the clothes and more worried about the about of flesh it exposed. She had never been in something so…tiny. She was used to the shapeless, frumpy dresses that she wore everyday.

When they finally went to walk into the house, Lissa was in a dress that didn't leave much to the imagination and Katie was dressed a little more modestly in jeans that looked like they were painted on. In their community, Katie was a bit awkward with her height, towering over some of the boys and looking gangly in the dresses. But in the leans she was wearing, she looked like one of the super models that she had seen on advertisements with her long legs and skinny body. Rose had always been curvier; and she had to admit that she felt good in the pants that were hugging her legs and the shirt that was tighter against her breasts. She felt a bit promiscuous and silly, but confident none the less.

"Wow, Rose. You look fantastic, both of you do! You are going to have guys drooling in there." Lissa laughed and Rose balked, boys, she didn't even think of that! Rose had no clue how to deal with the opposite sex; she had always been to shy to court anybody. Rose scolded herself, _You spent half of your life dreaming about your wedding, how could you not factor in the part where you have to meet boys? _

Of course she didn't plan on courting any of these boys, she would marry someone from her community, and it wasn't like the boys here would even look twice at her if they knew she was Plain. Just because she was going to a party didn't mean she had to impress any men. She was going for the experience; she could sit in the corner and watch if she was uncomfortable. She was doing this to get rid of the thirst she had been having for adventure, and then she would go home and forget all about it.

Taking a deep breath, she started forward with Lissa and Katie by her side, this was her time to be a little daring, to have some fun, to get out there and enjoy the years before she would take her oath and get married. This was her time to be free, and she was going to take advantage of it.

**Okay, so I know that this first chapter is a little unclear about everything, but I will be delving a little deeper into Rose's life as we go on. I'm thinking that the next chapter will be a DPOV but I'm not positive yet. **

**Again, I know people will get frustrated with this Rose who is so different, but I assure you she will be getting more confidence as we move forward, right now all of this is different to her, and she is basically acting like she is expected. **

**Let me know if you would like this to be continued, or if you have anything you want to point out, all comments are appreciated. **

**P.S- For Moving On readers, I have the next chapter half way done, I promise this story will not get in the way of it :D **


	2. Chapter 2

For Dimitri Belikov there was nothing better then speeding down the road at breakneck speed on his motorcycle. The way the bike roared underneath him like a predator, how it tilted with his body at turns, how the wind in his face seemed to move with him rather then against him; all of it was part of the thrill that was like second nature to him, completely familiar but no less exhilarating. It never ceased to amaze him.

And now, speeding down the winding roads in the dark was no different then any other time he had ridden his bike. He was going to meet Eddie at some party, a party that he was adamant about not going to but was on his way there anyway. Eddie was his best friend since high school, and even though Dimitri was the brute of the two, Eddie was the convincing one, and to this day he had yet to lose an argument.

Dimitri wasn't sure where the hell he was, it was in the middle of fucking nowhere that was for sure. Everything he rode by was the never ending blur of pastures and cornfields and trees, all morphing into one big streak of color that, in the night, looked like it was dipped in ink. The roads were all gravel, the rocks crunching and grinding underneath his wheels, and the roads were confusing in the dark, each turn waiting to make itself known until you were on top of it. Dimitri liked the dark; everything was never what it seemed, it was safe, wrapping around you like a big black blanket.

The turns kept coming and coming, and even though he should have been slowing down, Dimitri sped up, going as fast as he could while a daring smile kept up on his face. _This _was the life.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Dimitri heard the house before he saw it; the music was blasting and the dull light that came through the curtain would occasionally show the silhouette of someone walking by, more often then not with a drink in their hand. Eddie was dating some college girl who was here and was insistent that Dimitri come. At twenty four he felt ridiculous hanging out with a bunch of kids, even though most of them probably weren't much younger then him. But still, parties like this weren't usually his scene. Actually, he hated most parties, preferring to be alone with either his bike, his book, or his cigarettes; no exceptions. Eddie's endless supply of clingy girlfriends was another thing that Dimitri never understood; in all his twenty four years he had yet to have a serious relationship. There were girls; always girls, but never serious ones. Just some nameless chick he met at a bar that he was drunk enough to take home. Those were the kind of relationships that he liked, the ones that weren't relationships at all.

Walking up to the house, he knew that knocking was useless, the music was so loud that he couldn't hear himself think, which was probably a good thing considering they were none too pleasant thoughts. The house was filled with drunken men and scantly clad women; grinding, laughing and drinking. One couple was all but naked on the couch and Dimitri guessed that the party must have been going on pretty long for everyone to be this drunk.

A tall woman with black hair caught his eye and he was tempted to go over before he realized that the guy in front of her had his toung down her throat, sighing in disgust he shook his head at the almost-orgy that was taking place in front of his eyes. Everyone knew that most people left with some stumbling idiot on their arm…and other parts, at these things, but could they at least move it somewhere else? Some people weren't drunk enough to be enjoying it yet.

Deciding to fix that problem, Dimitri walked over to grab a beer when he saw her. She was leaning in the corner of the room, looking like a lost puppy and sticking out like a sore thumb. She was beautiful; curves in all the right places, long dark hair and eyes that kept looking at the tall raven haired girl hopelessly. And those _pants! _The sight of her alone was enough to drive him crazy with want, and the knowledge that this disgusted her just as much as it bothered him was refreshing; finally someone with a little sense in their head.

He grabbed two beers instead and made his way over to her.

"If you're going to ask me if I want to dance then you can forget it, I've turned down five of those invitations tonight and I don't plan on making an exception for you just because you were the first one to get me a drink before asking if I wanted to sleep with you." She talked tough but Dimitri could tell she was trying not to tremble. A slight accent laced her words, just like one laced his, although he couldn't place it.

"Actually I just came to see if you wanted some company." Lie, what he really wanted was to get into her pants. Those tight, ass hugging pants.

She contemplated this seriously, not trusting him just yet, _smart girl _he thought, hiding a smile. Finally she relented and motioned with her hand that he could come stand.

Holding out his hand he introduced himself, "I'm Dimitri," Silently adding some less then appropriate thoughts to the end, all revolving around her full, plump lips that were just the perfect shade of dusty rose. He wondered if her nipples would be a similar color…and what they would taste like.

"I'm Rose," she answered shaking his hand. _How appropriate. _

"So, Rose, what's a girl like you doing at a party like this? You don't seem to be enjoying yourself." Oh, how he wanted to change that.

"My friend," she said nodding at the girl who had originally caught this attention, "invited me. I've never been to anything like this, I'm starting to realize why."

The knowledge that she wasn't the type of girl that spent her nights partying and her days sleeping off her hangover was encouraging, but she was just a hot piece of ass, a window to satisfy his more carnal cravings; so why did Dimitri feel deep down in his gut that a fuck and run just wouldn't cut it here? That if he just up and left after being satisfied that he still wouldn't be able to rid his mind of the beautiful girl with the expressive brown eyes and sweet face? Dimitri wasn't sure why he was feeling what he was…all he knew was that it scared him; and not too much scared Dimitri Belikov.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

By the time the party downstairs had indeed become somewhat inappropriate; Dimitri and Rose were far away from the action, outside on the porch, where the people inside couldn't bother them. Dimitri couldn't remember a time when he had truly enjoyed a women's company. All of the girls he had ever met were the ditzy, slutty, clingy, disease ridden kind that were only good for a night, if that. But Rose was different. She wasn't comfortable with sharing information about herself, so all that Dimitri knew was that she had a lot of bothers and sisters and that her parents were strict. Dimitri was also stingy with the information he gave out, and so Rose didn't know much about him either.

The night was freezing, the winter air nipping at all of their exposed skin, and Dimitri was oddly tempted to put his long arm around Rose's little shoulders every time she shivered. Rose came off as very fragile; with her quiet demeanor, and shy eyes Dimitri figured she was easily mistaken for a stick in the mud. But he could see the spark of something special in her eyes; something wonderful and powerful, and full of life.

And as Dimitri sat with the brown eyed girl underneath a canvas of stars, he mused at the irony that someone as contained as Rose wanted so badly to live, when sometimes all he wanted was to die.

**So, that was the second chapter, I'm still not sure how far this is going to go, I have a lot of plans for this story so I guess we will just see how this whole thing goes. **

**If everyone could take some time and leave a review that would be great :D I've gotten a lot of favorite alerts, but only a handful of reviews. I don't like asking for reviews, and I usually don't, but if you could take the time I would really appreciate it. I'm still a little sacred about this story because its so much different then what I'm used to writing, so any little bit helps!**

**A big, fat thank you hug to all of the people who reviewed! I was very encouraged by your feedback :D **

**xoxo**

**-Lydia **


	3. Chapter 3

Rose had never spoken to anyone English before; sure she had traded a few sentences, shared a remark or two about the weather, but she had never actually carried on a conversation that meant something to her. But this did.

The man Dimitri was one like no other; the boys she was used to at home were the straight –laced kind. Tightly wound and respectful, hard working young men who knew their place in the world. But when she had first laid eyes on the dark eyed giant, she was swept away with curiosity. He had dirty jeans on, rough denim that was stained with grease and paint, and the shirt that he was wearing clearly outlined the hard planes of his broad chest. His hair was shinny and beautiful, but the messy ponytail that it was kept in let off an air of indifference. His eyes, bright brown orbs framed by generous lashes, were mysterious and held a wicked glint that made her think he was thinking of something positively sinful.

Her whole life she had been warned away by ragged exteriors such as his, but when he came up to her with a drink, holding it in front of him like a peace offering, it was everything she could do not to bombard him with questions. This was a man who lived the kind of life that was told in heroic tales, and she knew this without even having spoken to him.

So, now here she was, sitting on a porch in the dark with a man who was and was not a stranger all at once. Her friend had abandoned her, as did Lissa, although in their defense she didn't think they would have if they didn't have all that alcohol in their systems (which was their fault). Dimitri was an interesting man; he spoke perfect English, although he did so with a slight accent, much like her. He was scary to look at as well, all intimidating and large, he even had a scar that ran from his ear to the corner of him mouth, a small and barley noticeable imperfection that she only saw because for the past five minutes of silence, she had been sneaking peaks of his strong profile. He had a jaw that could cut class, a proud forehead, and a strong chin. He looked manly and beautiful all at the same time and Rose felt things that she wasn't sure she would ever feel again. The boys at home did nothing for her, and she always harbored a fear that she would marry because she had to, instead of for love like her parents did. Dimitri didn't know the thoughts that were running through the young girls head, nor did he know that she was Amish.

Rose had kept that fact hidden away, knowing that even though she would never see this man again, she didn't want him to look at her and see her for what she was; plain. She didn't dress this glamorously every day, she wore plain dresses and caps, not a shred of makeup on her face, and she spent her days with her family, animals, and God. She wasn't very smart, she didn't have any special skills other then cooking or sewing, things she doubted he would have any interest in, and she spent her time just living her life the way she knew it was supposed to be lived. Her life was monotonous, a broken record playing over and over again. And so when Dimitri turned to her and asked if she wanted a ride home, she couldn't refuse the chance to break out of the day to day schedule that she was finally beginning to find tedious.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The bike was the scariest thing she had ever seen, it was a maze of twisting pipes and gears underneath the handle bars; a joke of a thing that didn't make the monster look anymore untamed then it did before.

Dimitri looked at her with a chuckle.

"You still want a ride? Or are you going to flake out?" he had that glint in his eyes that was full mischief, daring her to back down.

"I'd love a ride, thank you." She said back, being her usual polite self with a twinge of a challenge lacing her tone. She wasn't one to give up.

He swung his long leg across the bike and patted the seat behind him, signaling for her to get on the back of the machine. This possessed another challenge for Rose, was she really supposed to get on this bike with her legs around him? The thought made her cheeks flush, as she got on to the bike anyway, holding on to him with as light a gripe as possible.

"Unless you want to fly off the back, you're going to have to hold on a little tighter then that, Sweetheart." He spoke with laughter in his voice, but the term sweetheart was enough to send more blood flowing to her cheeks. She was still embarrassed, but as the bike roared to life underneath her, she threw everything to the wind and wound her arm around his middle like a vice.

She screamed as the bike took off, high-pitched and long, piercing the silent night as they tore off down the drive way and made their way down the winding country roads. Everything was going by in a blur, and between the engine, the wind, and the adrenaline rushing in her ears, it took her a while before she realized that Dimitri was laughing. It was rich and deep and booming, and it caused an embarrassing reaction that she was worried he would notice with her legs wrapped around him.

She had never felt more alive in her entire life, all of the heavy sensations that were taking place around her were sucking her in, beckoning her with a long twisted finger to come and join the fun side of things, the sinful side. She was undeniably attracted to the danger that this beautiful man and this beautiful machine possessed, she wanted it. She wanted this feeling to last like she wanted air to breathe.

And so, on a long and winding country road, on the back of a speeding motorcycle, a new Rose was born.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

There was nothing on the outside of Rose's home that showed the kind of life she led. It was just a big farm house, plain and as boring as can be. So when Dimitri led the bike to where Rose told him he still had no clue what he was dealing with. He stopped the bike some distance away, knowing in his gut that her parents had no idea that their daughter was out that night.

Dimitri got off the bike first, and waited for her to jump off; a far cry from the helping hand an Amish boy would have offered her. Rose, trying to be graceful, climbed off the bike and to her horror felt her knees give out from underneath her. Just as she braced herself for the feeling of the cold, unforgiving earth, a hand reached out and steadied her. Not expecting how light she was, Dimitri pulled with a bit too much force, sending Rose full speed into his chest where he caught her with his arms.

He smelt amazing. Like pine trees, and sweat, and grease and a smell that was distinctly man; scents that she would associate with him forever. It was warm there in his arms, they were strong and tightening around her as the time went by, mere seconds feeling like hours as he held he. The cold air she felt suddenly was an indication that he had let go, and Rose slowly opened her eyes, not knowing until then that they had been closed in the first place.

Dimitri was looking everywhere but her, and she felt a sharp twinge of sadness and rejection wash over her.

"Thank you for the ride," She said, trying to break the tension before she went back into her house, knowing that once she walked through that door that she would never see him again.

At the sound of her voice, Dimitri fixed his face into his usual haughty smirk and responded, "No problem, Sweetheart." Again, the term did things to her. He didn't say it sweetly. In fact, quite the opposite, he used it lightly with a tone laced in trouble. Her cheeks began to burn nonetheless, this time with anger instead of embarrassment. She was slightly crushed at the fact that she had just done the most reckless and exciting thing she could imagine, and it was all moot to him. And why wouldn't it be? He did this kind of thing everyday. The seat that she had been sitting on had probably sat hundreds of other girls, all clinging to Dimitri's broad back. And the arms that she had felt so warm in had held those same women, probably doing things to him that Rose couldn't even think of, much less take place in.

Turning around without a word, Rose walked up to her house and silently opened the door; only looking back when she heard the distinct sound of a motorcycle speeding away into the distance, and out of her life.

**Quick note about Last Sacrifice- for those who (like me) were waiting all day for the LS excerpt to be released, according to Richelle's Facebook page, they were having technical problems and it should hopefully be out today, November 30****th****. **

**Just thought I would let everyone out there know :D **

**Thank you all so much for the reviews you have left! I cherish every single one of them, they make my day. **


	4. Chapter 4

Dimitri prided himself on being strong; and so when he woke up in the middle of the afternoon, only a few hours after dropping Rose back off at her place, panting because of the dream he just had, he threw his head in his hands and despaired. A little girl; that was all she was. He couldn't believe it when she told him that she was seventeen, how could someone so innocent be so unconsciously sexy? And then when he left her at the house, with her cheeks pink and her eyes fiery and her small body enveloped in his arms; it was all he could do not to take her. And so here he was, sitting in his bed, trying to erase the most incredible fantasy from his head because it was about someone a whole seven years younger then him.

Looking around at his apartment, Dimitri sighed, knowing that he had to clean, and also knowing that he wasn't going to. It was small, messy…just an all around shitty place. But it was above his garage, which was above his bike, and so he was happy. Dimitri had always been good at fixing things, especially those with a motor. He supposed he inherited the love from his father, which was ironic considering his father didn't love much of anything. And although he couldn't remember much from those early years, he did recall sitting in a dank, dusty old room watching his dad fix up an old Mustang, explaining everything as he went. His father wasn't that bad, at least not when he was sober.

Out of all the memories that Dimitri had buried deep in his head, the heady sent of alcohol was the most distinct. That was the backdrop of his childhood; beer, cigarettes and fighting. All splattered on some dysfunctional canvas. He was that boy you weren't allowed to play with because he was a "bad influence". The boy that sat outside of his rundown house while the sounds of his parents arguing and glass shattering came from inside, he was the boy that got into fights at school because people called him trash. And now he was a man, a man who should probably be admitted into some sort of hospital because he was having dirty thoughts about a sweet seventeen year old girl.

If only he could just fall back asleep and forget everything that had happened.

Realizing that staying in bed wasn't going to make anything better, Dimitri rolled over and padded along the dingy laminate floor and went downstairs to the garage that held his kitchen (a mini fridge and microwave) and his living room (a couch with cigarette burns and a chair from Good Will). His tiny bathroom was upstairs, practically a closet with medicine cabinets overflowing with ointment and antibiotics for the cuts and burns that were an occupational hazard that came with being elbow-deep in someone's clunker. It was hardly a penthouse, but he couldn't do much better with his meager salary.

There wasn't any breakfast, as per usual, and so Dimitri got dressed in his usual dirty jeans and a flannel to ward off the morning chill that was creeping underneath the door as he readied to leave. Hopping on his bike, Dimitri sped along the road, enjoying the rumbling of the engine, a sound so loud it was guaranteed to drown out the rest of the world.

The dinner was about as dingy as his apartment, but he wasn't one to care. They had decent coffee and the big woman behind the counter put a huge glop of cream cheese on his bagel, just the way he liked it. They also sold cigarettes, and year's worth of unhealthy habits made those things a necessity. Dimitri didn't live to be healthy; sometimes he just lived because there didn't seem to be anything better to do.

Sitting on the red plastic chair tucked under a dirty table, Dimitri let his mind wander back to Rose. Her home told him that she was a country girl, as did her obvious discomfort with the rowdiness a party brought out in people. She was quite and withdrawn, but with the way her eyes glinted occasionally, or the way her plump lips would turn up in a smirk, he knew that there was more to her then back roads and tractors. She wanted to be bad, he could see it in everything she did; it was practically begging to come pouring out of the hard shell she wrapped around herself. But he could see it; he could tell how much she enjoyed the forbidden. Maybe that was why he liked her so much, because she was just as messed up as he was, she just didn't know it yet.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Lots of girls that Rose knew would have been ecstatic to capture the attention of Eli Miller. He was sweet on the eyes with his honey colored hair and big green eyes, and he had shoulders so broad and strong from all his farm labor that he looked like a bull in a china shop in his own home. And he was as nice as he was nice looking. In Rose's mother's words "His Mamma raised him right." Janine was good friends with Eli's Mamma, Miriam, and they liked to play matchmaker with Eli and Rose, who they claimed would make a fine couple. And the scary thing was, they probably would have. They were both handsome people, and they were just as sweet. And Rose had once overheard both their mothers talking about how great a father Eli would make with his gentle, but firm hand. Something Janine said he would need because "any child of Rose's would be as stubborn as a mule." But although Rose liked Eli's company just fine, she wasn't as easily lead as Eli was…and she was smart enough to know that Eli didn't like her for her, he liked her because his mother told him that he did.

Rose was sitting in the kitchen, enjoying a nice cup of cider when her father and John walked in the kitchen to warm up. Their appearance wasn't a surprise, Eli's however, was.

"Afternoon, Eli. What brings you here?" she asked while heating up some cider for the boys.

Abe clapped a hand on the boys shoulder, "I was talking to Mr. Miller not to long ago, and when he heard about us being a bit far behind on the crops with just me and John here working on them, he said Eli would be more then happy to help. They got three young boys over there working with Moses and two girls with Miriam, so they have all the help they can get." The explanation was believable, but Rose knew that it would have made more sense to send one of the younger boys over here instead of Eli. But with her parents and Moses and Miriam Miller at their match making, she knew they would be a force to be reckoned with.

The Millers had a house full of kids. Atlee was the oldest at twenty six, and he was married with a few babies of his own, and then came Eli at eighteen. Ruben and Roy were twins on their sixteenth year and they would now be helping their father in the fields along with Jonas, a fourteen year old. Emma and Mary were seventeen and twelve, and helped Miriam around the house, although Emma had been courting David Chupp for quite sometime now. Everyone was waiting for their engagement to be announced.

"That's nice of you, Eli. Would you like some cider?" Rose answered sweetly, seeing that her dad was pleased as punch with her waiting of Eli, obviously choosing to ignore that she had done the same for everyone. Eli looked just as happy with this act of kindness, probably sharing the same mindset as Abe.

Rose bustled about the kitchen, filling up mugs full of piping hot apple cider, and putting out a loaf of fresh baked bread in front of the men. Rose was still on her new high from last night, but she couldn't shake year's worth of habits that told her to take pleasure in serving the people she loved. And when she saw the delighted looks on everyone's face when they took big bites of her bread, she felt the small stirrings of pride blooming underneath her breast; the very same place that held desire for an unattainable man.

**Hello readers! **

**I just want to say that real Amish culture may or may not be as archaic as I'm writing it, but for story purposes I want to show the contrasts between both of Rose's feelings, the side of tradition and the side that wants to break the rules. Also, I really hope that Dimitri didn't come off as some dirty homeless person, he is just sort of lost at the moment…all of it will come together eventually, although I imagine that the glimpse of his past clued you into the life he had. **

**I really, really hate asking for reviews, but I didn't get very much from the last chapter, even though I got tons of alert and favorite notifications. It really does improve the quality of my writing and affects how quickly the next chapter comes out. Thank you to all who reviewed! **

**xoxo**

**-Lydia **


	5. Chapter 5

When Rose was seven, her grandmother taught her how to knit. She could remember everything from that day; the way her grandmother's old hands, knobby and filled with age spots guided hers in and out of the yarn, the way she smelled like peppermint and spices, even the deep sense of joy and accomplishment she felt when she finally casted on correctly. Now, knitting was more than just a past time for her, it was a relaxation technique, one that was guaranteed to both keep her hands busy and calm her nerves.

It had been four days since she went to the party and met Dimitri, and each and every minute since then had been filled with thoughts of his voice, his face, his hair. She couldn't get thoughts of him to leave her mind and let her be, and so after letting the sink over flow and reading the same page of a book several times over all because her thoughts were occupied, she picked up her needles and set to work. Rebecca, with her tiny six year old fingers, was constantly ripping and shredding her gloves, and it wasn't long before a new pair was taking shape in between her capable hands. Rose was so immersed in her work that she didn't even hear her mother come up behind her and place a hand on her shoulder.

"What's bothering you, Rose?"Janine asked, both kindness and worry in her tired eyes. Rose hated lying to her mother, it made her feel terrible inside…and even if it didn't, she was a terrible liar.

"I'll be fine," she replied softly. That wasn't really lying, was it? She would indeed be fine; she just needed to see a handsome English stranger on a motorcycle.

"I know you will be, but what is making you unsure? You look like your trying to solve a math problem in your head." Rose didn't respond, she didn't know that she was being that obvious about her inner turmoil, in fact, she thought that she had been hiding it rather well.

Her mother seemed to guess again what was going on in her head, "you weren't that obvious, and it's just a mother's job to know these things." Janine came around the side of the chair and sat down on the edge, putting a tender hand around Rose's back. "I know that sometimes it's hard even to confide in the people around us, sometimes just because they _are _around us, and we're afraid of being judged. But I think that you'll find that even though the people we love are affected by our decisions the most, they're also the most understanding about them." With that, Janine lifted herself of the couch and walked back into the kitchen, leaving Rose alone to ponder her words. Her mother was telling her that even if what was bothering might have a lasting effect on their family, they would try to understand because they loved her. The words brought tears to her eyes; she had never really known her mother to be this kind and understanding, she was usually very strict. But Rose had seen her soft side a few times before, and now, when it was such a monumental time for her, she felt her mother's love course through her. Dimitri was a distraction, and even if her mother understood her dilemma a hundred times over, it wouldn't change the fact having feelings for Dimitri was dangerous. Even if her family could forgive her, the church never could. Falling in love was dangerous if it was with someone outside of her community, it would lead to her being cast out of the church; cast out of everything she had ever known. Rose was letting matters of the heart conflict with matters of responsibility. She would forget her Rumspringa all together and she would work on being a better person, a better woman. She would be focused on her family and her Lord….she would focus on a future, one that she could count on.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

It was now seven days since the party and three since Rose made her decision to be more responsible. Where just yesterday Rose was struggling to keep her promise, today in church she found it much easier, whether it be because she was in God's house or because of the scrutiny of those around her. She always felt like she was doing something wrong in church, which was odd considering she had been going to the same church with the same people her whole life. But sometimes Rose let her thoughts go a little wild, and she couldn't help wondering if everyone else was more holy and God-fearing then she was; and due to recent events, they might have been.

The service was longer than that of a Standard English one and it wasn't technically in an actual church. The service was taking place in Atlee Shetler's house and would go on for three hours before everyone would enjoy lunch made by the women. Rose had taken place in the cooking, something that she enjoyed, and after a sparse breakfast she was anxiously awaiting the lunch that she knew contained some of her favorites. She loved being in the kitchen with the other women and girls, hearing them gossip and try to guess who was courting who or making predictions on how big they though the next baby due would be. The kitchen was the heart of the house, pulsing with constant movement and energy; for Rose there was nothing better than being in a kitchen. When the food was brought out to a large table, everybody said grace and then began to eat. There was heaps upon heaps of food, all freshly baked and warm. The only downside was that she had been seated next to Eli.

Rose knew that Eli was sweet on her, and she really should have been thrilled, he was kind-hearted and handsome…the type of boy that Momma's taught their daughters to look for. She was uncomfortable sitting next to him when she knew the way that he felt about her, Eli would never even dream of doing anything inappropriate, but even a slight touch of their shoulders would make her blush and look down at her plate helplessly; but it wasn't until after lunch that she felt truly helpless. Eli had come up to her as she was walking outside towards her family's buggy looking like a young boy who was being teased for a crush. He was all red cheeks and downcast eyes, his hands twisted in front of him…Rose knew just by the look of him what was about to happen, and she steeled herself for the decision that she was going to have to make.

"Afternoon, Rose." He said, a slight tweek in his voice, as if they hadn't just been sitting next to each other during lunch.

"Afternoon, Eli" Rose replied in a voice much like his own.

"I was wondering if I could escort you home in m—my buggy." He pointed a thumb behind his shoulder and, low and behold, there is was; a courting buggy, all shinny and daunting, just waiting for her to plop herself down on the seat and snuggle into Eli's shoulder. Her heart was pounding and her face was red, she felt like she might explode out of her own skin at any given moment. She had come to a crossroad; if she accepted Eli's offer they would start their courtship which meant spending time around one another and talking, something that was sure to be awkward. But if she denied, her family and everyone else who knew was sure to think that there was another boy who held her affections. And when it was discovered that it wasn't someone in her community….

"I would like that very much, Eli." She said with a small smile and yet another heavy blush. Eli looked up in shocked surprise, he must have been preparing himself for rejection, and his reaction made Rose smile a little more, a real one this time. She would have felt just awful having to watch Eli's face as she told him in code that she didn't reciprocate his feelings. Eli looked like he won the lottery, he smile was wide and his eyes were shinning, Rose had thought that he only felt the way he did about her because of their mothers' influence, but the expression on his face lead her to think otherwise, and she felt even worse. If Eli really did feel strongly about her, and she didn't feel the same, then why was she agreeing to this? The answer was actually quite simple; Eli was good for her. He was strong and handsome and kind, he was a good match for anybody, but his laid back nature made him the perfect match for someone like Rose who needed someone to be gentle with her. A small part of herself wanted that person to be Dimitri, which was just silly considering they had hardly spoken to each other, but another part of her knew that Dimitri wasn't at all the person that Eli was. He may be exciting and dangerous….and extremely sweet on the eyes, but that didn't make him a good person. The more Rose thought about it, the more ridiculous she found her trusting him. Her physical reaction to him was understandable, with his tall stature and broad shoulders mixed with his strong face and those deep, dark eyes; he was like a prince from a story book. But she had mixed her physical reaction for him and took it for true emotions. You can't feel something for someone that you don't know.

Eli had grabbed hold of Rose's arm and was steering her toward his buggy, pride pouring of him in waves at the sight of the beautiful carriage. Like a true gentleman, Eli walked over to her side first and helped her into the buggy, telling her to watch her step before jogging over to his side and getting in. the horses that the buggy was attached to were mighty fine as well, both a beautiful and shiny brown. When Rose told him so he thanked her, "Dank ye, this one here is my Pa's but the one on the right is mine. Her names Missy." Rose was impressed that he had bought his own horse already, although if he was working for her Pa then he was sure to have money to buy one for himself, or perhaps he had been saving up for one. Regardless she was glad that he was happy about his new horse, and she was shocked to realize that her happiness for him was genuine. She suddenly felt the need to make conversation, to show him that she was going to try.

"I haven't spoken to you in sometime, Eli….we used to play together all the time when we were younger. You remember?" They really did used to play a lot when they were small; Eli had been one of her good friends.

He laughed, "of course I remember. I can't even tell you how surprised I was when I found out you made half of the lunch we had today…you were such a boy when we were little, always the first to jump in Mr. Khups mulch pile." He laughed and Rose knew that the boy comment was a compliment, one that she was glad to receive. "You're just jealous because I beat you every time was raced," now it was her turn to joke, and she knew that unlike some boys, Eli would be able to except that defeat gracefully. Being with him was surprisingly easy.

They talked the rest of the way home, and it wasn't at all like Rose expected. Eli wasn't very bright, but he was sweet and good natured…he had a heart of gold and despite her earlier qualms, Rose found herself feeling happy that she was the one who Eli wanted to offer it too. She wasn't completely swept off her feet like she used to imagine herself feeling when she met "the one" but maybe that was just because love didn't happen that way. Maybe you weren't supposed to fall in love, but grown in it. She wasn't sure, but Rose thought that maybe they could do that together. And so when they arrived at her house and Eli asked her if she would like to into town tomorrow, she said yes with the conviction that she was going to _try_, even if trying was all she could offer right now.

She had a feeling that a lot more of her time would be spent in Eli Miller's courting buggy.

**Whew! I hope that you all enjoyed this :D I know I had a fun time writing it. I am really, extremely sorry for my long "break"…I had tons of computer trouble and then that on top of the holidays was just bad luck. Speaking of holidays, I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, Hanukah or whatever you celebrate. **

**I also just wanted to say once again that everything I write about Amish culture is not 100 percent accurate, I research as much as I can but don't take all of this as true. **

**Does anyone have any opinions on both the new Janine and Eli? Personally, I have trouble picturing Rose's mom as understanding and sweet…I like Richelle's version better, but for the sake of the story I guess…**

**Hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and I hope your 2011's are filled with happiness and frequent fanfiction updates :D **

**-Lydia **


	6. Chapter 6

Dimitri desperately needed a distraction. Something to ward off the unwelcome thoughts about a certain unattainable girl with beautiful hair, a girl that he could still feel wrapped around his body as he raced along a country road. If there was anything he liked better then riding his motorcycle, it was being on one with a woman. But recent events had put him off to every women he had been with since, and by been with he meant merely standing in the same room with each other, nobody could hold his attention. The blond who was a new waitress at Moe's was too superficial with her generous breasts and platinum hair. The red head whose father owned the repair shop was too trashy. He found himself looking for someone with the same hair color, but no shade seemed to compare. He was looking twice at girls who had the same facial structure (since when did he notice facial structure!), but still, she seemed to be one of a kind. That scared him.

And so his need for something to keep his hands busy brought him into a little Amish town called Sugar Creek that was used for both actual Amish use and tourism. He needed some parts for an old car that his friend Eddie had just acquired. It was a clunker, alright, but when Eddie had told him he wanted to fix it up but couldn't find the time, Dimitri jumped at the chance, finally finding something that was both enjoyable and challenging enough to keep his mind off Rose. He had researched on the internet a place where he could find all of the parts he needed and after a bit of looking around he discovered a great little shop in Sugar Creek that had just the part he needed, it was owned by a family who remodeled old cars all the time, and so not only would he leave with the parts he needed, but also some handy tips.

He felt the need to stop his bike and walk (and maybe repent for some sins) when he rode his bike into the town, it's engine causing a lot of notice in a place that was filled with idling cars and the steady clomp of horses hooves. The streets were filled with families interested in the Amish way of life, and of course, the Amish, dressed in their overalls and dresses, carting around strangely well behaved kids. All of the men he saw, except maybe one or two, had long square beards and straw hats on, something that he wondered about while walking. Did they ever shave? He wasn't sure about much of anything…Dimitri had lived in the area for years now and he had never seen an Amish person before now, it was odd to consider their way of life when it was so old fashioned. He knew that they didn't use electricity, and he knew that the women wore some sort of hat thing…he also just imagined every family living in some farm house with their fifty kids who were experts at milking goats and what not.

The first thing that hit him was the smell; it smelt like pure country air and home cooked food. His nose picked up fresh fruit and bread, syrup and fried chicken…his stomach growled even though he just had something to eat on the ride over; it was just _good. _Dimitri didn't grow up in an all-American family by any means. His dad was a drunk and his mother was a drunken man's wife; his childhood wasn't exactly laced in warm meals and tucked in beds. But this, this little tiny paradise smack-dab in the middle of nowhere was absolutely beautiful. Where else can you look past all of the shops and see cow pastures?

By the time he arrived at the repair shop he had already made his decision to walk right past it and stay as long as possible in the little town. He was simply following the smell at this point, trying to sniff out the pastries that were enveloping his senses at every turn. All he wanted was to sink his teeth in whatever the hell that delicious item was and to feel it on his tongue before he swallowed it. I was almost orgasmic the way it was traveling up his nose, he couldn't even imagine the taste of it.

The smell finally got strongest at a small both with a bog square hole in the middle that was pouring out heat despite the chilly winter air, he couldn't even imagine sitting in the booth during the summer months, especially when all the women wore so many layers. Didn't they get hot? A middle aged woman was inside the booth and she was smiling at everyone going past and handing out fry pies to those in line. A women in a pea coat and a curly haired little boy who were looking severely out of place with their demeanor that simply radiated city dweller, were leaving with their pies just as Dimitri walked up. Standing next to him was a monster of a man, so big that he almost did a double take. Dimitri, who stood more than six feet was still taller then him, but not by much. He was Amish, that much was obvious. He had on dark blue overalls and a straw hat, even in the winter, and his face was clean shaven. But it was his build that shocked Dimitri; he had huge shoulders that showed he clearly worked out, although Dimitri guessed it was due to farm work, and his head was just a few inches lower than his own. Dimitri had worked hard to attain his body, which was naturally muscular but had been built up by years of working out, but he still had a shape that was almost lanky when his shirt was on.

Despite his body type, the guy looked like he couldn't hurt a fly…he was boyish and even a tad goofy looking; like he was still trying to realize his own strength. The woman behind the counter gave him a sly smile and replied in a accent that he now knew was Pennsylvania-Dutch (due to the Amish fact board that was posted on the wall of a museum he passed) and said with a knowing look "Now you get on back to that buggy and give this to that pretty girl you've got there." The man/boy blushed and took the pies, thanking the woman and looking down, clearly embarrassed. Dimitri was surprised once again, he didn't really think of Amish people going on dates…didn't they have arranged marriages or something? Either way, he was curious. He looked back at the direction the guy was going and saw him go to the side of a buggy and hand a young Amish women a pie. He nearly exploded.

It was her! But it wasn't, all at the same time. The Rose that he knew from the party was dressed in tight clothes with her hair down and flowing; this girl was in a plain blue dress and a black kapp (another little Amish fact). Her hair was tied back tightly and the only view he could even get of it was the small, baby thin hairs peeking through the top. But even like this she was beautiful, he face was glowing with a soft blush and her eyes were shinning because of the cold. Her face looked amazingly fresh when all of her hair was out of it, and it was scrubbed clean of makeup, something he rarely saw in women. She was innocent and beautiful and….another man was with her. An Amish man, because she was Amish. Holy shit, did he feel like a dirt bag; not only has he been fantasizing about a seventeen year old, but probably the purest, most innocent seventeen year old the world had ever known. This was a girl who spent time baking and canning and…milking goats? He didn't know, all he knew was that he felt self disgust for himself and hatred for the kid who was about to ride off into the sunset with her. They would probably live in a farm house and plow fields together and make way too many kids. _Shit!_ She was going to sleep with this creep! Granted, he was the only creep around here, but still! The thought of her with anyone else made his stomach churn and his eyes see red. It felt like all of his senses were focused on one point, the man who was with Rose…the one who was going to take her away from him.

His vision shrunk until the boy was the only thing he could see anymore, nothing else mattered, not the fact that the kid was innocent and didn't deserve his anger, not the fact that if he proceeded to do what he desperately wanted to Rose might think him savage…not even the fact that his jealousy was so utterly ridiculous that everyone in the entire town would think he was insane. It was only him, him and the steroid addicted Amish teenager. And then Rose looked up.

She was looking at him with a mix of awe and horror, like seeing him was so terribly beautiful that she couldn't stand it. Some of her black tresses had come loose from her bun and we swirling about her face like smoke, Dimitri thought she looked beautiful before, but nothing was lovelier then the way she looked when her eyes met his. The moment seemed to go on forever and end all too soon at the same time, and when her eyes did look away he willed them to turn back to him; willed her to step off of the buggy and climb on the back of his bike, to wrap her arms around him as they took to the roads at break-neck speed. But Rose didn't climb off of her dates courting buggy and join Dimitri, she sat back down with her fry pie, thanked the man next to her, and settled back into the seat as he got on and brought the horses to first a walk, and then a steady trot.

Dimitri was left at the stand, in his hand a peach filled fry pie, and in his eyes a disappearing buggy.

**Sorry that this chapter is so short, I figured it was okay since it was a pretty quick update…hope you enjoyed! Also, please tell me honestly if you thought this was a little too dramatic with Dimitri…like most girls, I'm not exactly sure how the male mind works. **

**Also, Sugar Creek, is in fact, a real place; it's only an hour or so from my house actually. It isn't really as old fashioned as I made it seem, but it is probably the cutest town in the world, if you want a visual, I'm sure you can find it on the computer. I'm not sure if any of you read my story Moving On, but I posted a contest as my last chapter on there…I haven't gotten any replies yet, so if you were interested and just not doing it because you weren't sure about that other stories, Please, please, please try it out! **

**Thank you so much for the reviews! **


	7. Chapter 7

Seeing Dimitri had left Rose shaken, and now, sitting beside Eli in his courting buggy, she tried desperately to keep her emotions off of her face. He looked as handsome as he had the night they met; dark jeans covered in paint splatters and grease stains, his muscled body outlined by a white t-shirt, covered in that wonderful leather jacket. His hair had been up in a ponytail, some strands carelessly hanging in front of his face. She heard once that forbidden things were always sweeter; in fact, one time at a church service they had discussed the Devil and his many tempting tricks; the Devil doesn't appear to someone donned in red horns and a pitch fork, he is described as an "angel of light". That was what Dimitri was to her, her greatest desire wrapped in a pretty package, but she knew that playing with fire would only cause her to get burned.

And then there was another disturbing realization that came with meeting Dimitri once again; he knew she was Amish. Before, when she had been standing in the corner at the stupid party, she had looked beautiful, and although she had felt sinful and exposed in her revealing outfit, she knew that to the English she looked desirable and sexy. But seeing him at the market, she had been dressed like she was every day, a simple, loose, handmade dress and her black cap. She had been dead set against being with Dimitri again, not that she could anyway since she had no means of contacting him….but the idea of him seeing her in her plain clothes made her blush furiously. If he had looked at her in awe before, she could guarantee that he only saw her as a little girl now, with all of her curves boxed in by a dress. Rose was proud of her heritage; she loved her family, faith and community, but there was still that slice of temptation that was dangling in front of her face, just waiting for her to give in.

She wanted to dress in English clothes again; she was entranced with the form fitting denim that women wore, and the dresses that showed all of her except the most private parts. When she looked at the men in her community she knew that they were sweet, both in character and on the eyes, like Eli for example. But she yearned for a man like Dimitri, clad in denim and leather with a scruffy face and long hair. She had never felt desire before the night of the party, but the way that Dimitri felt against her when she rode on the back of his motorcycle was something she wasn't sure she would ever feel again, and certainly not with the tame, God-fearing boys that she grew up with.

Rose knew about sex; when she had bled for the first time at the age of thirteen her mother had explained it to her. She had learned about the desires that could take over her young body and she had been taught never to act on them. But the words of a parent or teacher could never really express what she had felt that night, and she knew that in the grand scheme of things, hanging on to Dimitri was extremely tame. If he could make her feel that just by being in close proximity, she didn't even dare to imagine what he could make her feel with his lips and hands. She had never been kissed before, but she was aching for it now.

"Rose? Are you okay? Your being awful quiet over there," Eli's voice broke her out of her deep thoughts and she was instantly ashamed when she took notice to her flushed skin, feeling hot despite the cold wind whipping at her face.

"Oh, I'm—I'm fine. Just tired is all." She tried to make her voice as convincing as possible, but she sounded breathy and short of air. Eli looked at her with concern, "do you want me to take you home? I was going to show you something but if you like—"

"No, no! We can go, I'm fine. Really." Despite everything, she really had been having a good time with Eli. He was sweet and funny and very charming and polite. Before seeing Dimitri she had been having a fantastic time laughing and throwing friendly banter at each other.

"If you're sure…" he trailed off, uncertain. But his care for her made her even more determined than before.

"I am." She said, her voice carrying none of its previous tremors. In the passenger side of a courting buggy, Rose hatched a plan.

OoOoOoooOoOoOoOoOooO

The place that Eli wanted to show her was a small clearing not too deep in the woods. The way the trees roots buried in the ground left an indent in the earth that was small but very cozy. A little pond that was frozen over lay in front of them and they were currently watching a little chipmunk scurry across the surface as they ate some food that Rose had packed. They had mugs that were filled with hot chocolate and little containers filled with dried venison and some sandwiches. They were saving their fry pies for desert.

But the whole time they were eating Rose was only thinking of Dimitri and what she would do to feel his lips on hers. But that could never happen; she would most likely never see him again, and even if they were reunited by tome twist of fate, her faith kept her from ever being with someone outside of her community. She needed to get her priorities straight and so when Eli took a sip of hot chocolate Rose leaned over and caught his mouth with hers. Her eyes were shut as tight as possible and Eli's were open wide while he tried and failed to comprehend where the shy Rose he knew was. But it was only a moment before Eli's large hand snaked behind her neck and he deepened the kiss. He tasted like chocolate and spices, and something that she couldn't place…something she guessed what just his distinct taste. His lips were soft and gentle as they moved against hers, and even though Rose was having her first kiss, the only thing that was on her mind was the fact that Dimitri wouldn't have been so cautious with her. His lips would have crashed down on hers with brute force and his hands would have twisted in her long hair, pulling her toward the hard ridges of his built body. Dimitri wouldn't have shown the caution and restraint that Eli was currently exercising; he would have claimed Rose with a primal and animalistic need that would have surpassed anything she ever felt.

_Stop it! Stop thinking about him, you can't have him, this isn't right. _

Rose felt like she could cry from the thoughts that were flashing through her head like lightning. She was kissing one man and thinking of another; Eli was a good person, he deserved someone who could give him there all; mind, body and soul. Rose knew that she wasn't in love with Dimitri, they had spoken too little for anything like that. But she did know that she felt something for him that would forever rival the care that she felt for Eli. There was a whole flock of girls who would gladly be courted by Eli Miller; girls that got on their knees and prayed for a good-hearted man to create a life with. And yet here she was, giving false hope to perhaps one of the nicest people she ever knew.

Eli's lips were still moving slowly against hers, probably rejoicing in the fact that his feelings were reciprocated, or at least he thought that was the case. With a heavy heart, Rose pulled her head away from Eli's and looked down, knowing the shame of what she had just done was showing on her face. Taking a shaky breath, Rose looked up and whispered, "I'm sorry, Eli. I just can't do this…I thought I could, but I just don't," another breath, "I just don't feel that way about you."

Brown eyes met blue as Rose looked up into a face that was trying without success to shield the pain he was feeling. She felt her own eyes fill with unshed tears as she took in her friends weak expression; she had had hurt someone just for her own experimentation….for her own petty enjoyment. Never in her life had Rose done something so selfish, and the guilt coursing through her may have been an equal match for Eli's pain and rejection.

Eli offered her a small, obviously forced smile and said in a tone more sweetly then she deserved, "I figured you might not. I just thought that…when you kissed me…" he trailed off, but Rose didn't need his words to fill in the blanks. He had been running on blind faith the whole time and Rose kissing him had made everything worse, more guilt shot through her system as she watching Eli struggle for words.

"Did you know I've had a crush on you ever since we were eight and you helped me when I cut my hand, trying to look tough with that pocket knife?" Rose remembered that day clearly. Eli had come over to play and when the adults had left them alone to entertain themselves; Eli had whipped out a pocket knife. It was brand knew and shiny, the sun gleaming of the metal and casting little spectrums of light all over the place. Eli had tried to cut a small limb on a tree to show them how good it worked, but he ended up slicing his finger. "I was so scared when I cut myself, thinking I was going to have to show my Pa and explain to him what I did. But you ran into the barn and grabbed some stuff to patch me right up. You were so pretty Rose."

Nobody had ever said anything that sweet to her before, and Rose found herself wishing with all her heart that she could just make herself love him; make herself fall into his kiss and have it go straight to her toes. But it just didn't work that way, and the only thing that Rose felt for Eli was friendship and pity, pity for making him hurt the way she had.

"Eli, I'm so sorry. I know that doesn't even begin to make things better, but I truly do care about you." Rose delivered her words quietly, knowing she was walking around broken glass when it came to Eli's feelings.

"I know you do Rose, otherwise you never would have told me."

Eli offered her another smile and wrapped her small hand in his; lifting her up, he picked up their things and guided her back to the buggy, being sure to point out the spots where the roots stuck out of the ground. Lifting her up into the buggy, Eli wrapped a warm blanket around Rose's shoulders and he got the horses moving, taking her back home. And despite everything that had just happened, everything that she just did, the main thought in her mind was that she had traveled this very same road with another man….a man who just now may have inadvertently influenced her into making the worst decision of her life.

**I know almost all of you wanted Dimitri to play Prince Charming and go after Rose on his motorcycle, so I apologize for the fact that, well…he didn't. I'm also sorry about the kissing thing, but it had to happen :D we're sending Rose on a journey of self-discovery and yes, eventually some Dimka kisses. I am a strict Rose and Dimitri fan….no happily ever after can happen with anyone else for those two. **

**Sorry again for the long wait! Those waiting on Moving On with unfortunately have to wait a little longer…I'm not leaving the story, I promise, but I've hit a bit of a rough patch with that one. Hang in there! Sorry for any spelling mistakes, when you read something over and over you start to skip over stuff…I know it bugs me when people have tons of spelling mistakes, so just let me know if it gets worse than the occasional misspelled word :D **


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry in advance for any spelling/grammar mistakes. I've been trying to get this in to you guys for a while now, and after you read something over and over; your eyes get a little blurry. Feel free to bop me on the head if you find too many. **

Dimitri was fairly certain he was insane. He didn't come to that conclusion when he woke up in the middle of the night after yet another of his haunting dreams, it didn't even occur to him when he hastily dressed and hopped on his bike, he didn't give insanity a fleeting thought even as he walked up to the house he had dropped Rose off at the night of the party. In fact, it wasn't until Dimitri had circled the house for the third time that he truly grasped the severity of the situation. He was in an Amish man's back yard well past midnight, circling his house trying to find his underage daughter's bedroom. He was completely whipped by a woman that he didn't even know.

But that notion didn't stop him, he kept circling, trying to find Rose's bedroom instead of her fathers. He had seen the boy Rose was with in town; all burly shoulders and iron fists….no way in hell did he want to bring down the wrath of the girl's father. Dimitri was so consumed in his task that his heart stuttered when a soft voice came from the shadows of the old farm house.

"Dimitri?" Rose's voice was soft, but it sliced the cold silence around them, leaving Dimitri with an uneasy feeling in his chest. He turned around slowly and took in Rose's appearance. Her raven hair had been let down and was hanging down her back, a few pieces brushing across her face and neck as a chilly breeze blew past. She was wearing a night gown that could only be described as "virgin white" making her look so pure and innocent as it hung shapelessly from her body. Her shoulders were cover in an blanket and to top off her midnight attire, her feet were covered in muck-boots.

"Rose," Dimitri spoke, feeling even more out of place then he did before. Never once did he think of what he would do or say once he saw Rose…and now here he was, standing like an idiot. "What are you doing here?"

She snickered, "I _live_ here, Dimitri…shouldn't I be asking you that question?" of course she should, there was a semi-strange man standing on her property.

"I just….I came to see you."

Dimitri wasn't sure where his nerve had gone, but this wasn't like him at all. He was usually so calm and collected; so suave. No women had ever left him flustered and grasping for straws, but then again…Rose seemed to be an exception to everything.

"At one thirty in the morning?"

"Yeah, I wanted to know if you….wanted to get some coffee…or something." Even he was shocked when that came out of his mouth. He must have looked like a complete and utter moron, standing there asking Rose if she wanted coffee. Dimitri didn't know what was going on with him, but he didn't like it at all. He was supposed to be hardened, that's what happened through the years of being alone; you grew indifferent to the people around you.

"You want to take me out to get a coffee?" Rose's voice rose in confusion. "Dimitri, I can get coffee anytime I want….if I'm planning on sneaking out in the middle of the night, I want it to be for something worth my while." Her strong words contrasted greatly with her soft and angelic appearance, and once again Dimitri was left thinking that Rose was smothered in her cultures view of what was right and wrong…so smothered that she couldn't decide for herself. Dimitri felt a grin crawling up his face, his true colors finally showing as he took in her words.

"I think I know just the place."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The neon lights promising beer where the only tell-tale signs that the bar was nestled in the cover of the trees. The rowdy sounds of the drunken customers and the heavy rock music coming from the jukebox where a large contrast from the silent night outside, and Rose was shocked to find that the woods she had played in as a child held such a secrete; this whole time she had no idea this was here.

Dimitri's bike came to a halt in front of the tavern and Rose took a calming breath. She knew that she had asked for this when she spoke those words back at the house, but that had been nothing but false bravado. Dimitri always seemed so calm and in control all the time, and she hated feeling inexperienced and flustered around him, his steady confidance always left her seeking more in herself, and she always tried to conjure up her inner vixen that was trying so hard to come out and play.

Thankfully, Lissa had left her the clothes that she had worn at the party, and she had left Dimitri standing in the cold as she ran up to her room and changed into them, not even caring that it was the same outfit that he had seen her in before….beggars couldn't be choosers after all. When she has appeared outside again, Dimitri had offered her an appreciative smile and offered her his jacket, saying that he would be fine in his flannel shirt. And now, here they were, walking into a bar together.

The first thing that assaulted her senses was the smoke; thick and heavy, it wrapped around her and forced its way into her lungs. Rose, of course, had smelt cigarette smoke before, but never this heady. The room was a maze of people of all shapes and sizes; a few huskier men covered in tattoos and leather were playing pool in the far corner, a waitress clad in tight pants and a shirt that left little to the imagination provocatively leaned over one of her costumers who shamelessly smacked her back-side. A middle aged barmaid with a bad perm served large amounts of liquor to the men and women lined up around the bar.

_For all the laughing and dancing going around here, it sure is a pretty depressing place._

Rose couldn't help but think it, no matter how horrible it was. Here were all these people; laughing and smoking and having fun….but why were they doing it exactly? Did they really all come here because it was a good time? Rose couldn't see how it could be, the beer smelt too strong and so did the cigarettes…and why would anyone want to dance in _that way_ with some old, flabby, washed-out man who smelt like sweat. The pigs that lived on her father's farm seamed cleaner then this lot.

"The look on your face makes me think your wishing we went out for coffee," Dimitri shouted close to her head trying to be heard above the music. His hot breath made her a light chill run down her back as it came out in pants against her ear and neck.

"No, it just…" Rose trailed off, not knowing what to say. How could she say what she really felt about the place if Dimitri might frequent it? As horrible as the idea was she didn't want to hurt his feelings. "Different," Rose finished the thought, trying her hardest to be civil. "It's just a lot different then what I'm used to."

Dimitri grinned, his white teeth flashing in a predatory smile, "Well then why don't I introduce you."

He grabbed her arm and tugged her along toward the bar, Rose couldn't hear what he shouted to the woman, but a few moments later he handed her a glass cup filled to the brim with amber liquid and foam. He didn't speak, merely gave her an encouraging nod before she tilted the glass to her lips and took a hesitant sip that ended in a burning path down her throat and left her coughing and sputtering. The drink was absolutely disgusting, like nothing she had ever tried before, and she didn't intend to try it again.

"That was terrible!" She said, handing the glass to Dimitri who took a long hearty swig, "How do you drink that stuff?" He chuckled and clucked underneath her chin with his fingers, making her blush. "To each his own." He stated with another grin.

Dimitri was being awfully happy and carefree, Rose noticed. He was smiling a lot, and even gracing her with all-out laughs. He had been pleasant company at the party, but he had seemed so somber and serious at the time; she liked this care-free version of him, even if it did seem to be brought on by alcohol.

It was about a half hour later when Dimitri got up to use the bathroom. Rose sat still at her table with a full cup of beer at her disposal. The lady at the bar had told her if she wasn't drinking that she needed to get out, and so every five minutes or so Rose would take tiny sips of the whiskey, wincing as even the smallest drop left a trail of fire down her throat. Dimitri had just disappeared in the bathroom when a man slid in the seat beside her. He was maybe in his late twenties and smelt like smoke. His hair was blond and greasy, and although his face was handsome, Rose could tell by the ugly sneer on his face that he was bad news.

"Well hey there," he said, extending his hand toward Rose. "I'm Jesse."

"Rose," she answered back with a forced smile. He grinned again and tilted his head toward her drink, "watcha got there?" he asked. Rose wasn't in the mood to be friendly; instead of answering she met his gaze evenly, hoping that her forced confidence would be enough to warn him away.

Jesse shrugged and picked up the glass, taking a big gulp just like Dimitri had before, except with Jesse she spent a lot less time examining how his neck look as he chugged it down.

He made a face, "Oh, come on! Whiskey? That's nothing, sweetheart. Why don't you take a sip of this right here?" He pushed a glass towards her and gave her a smile that she assumed was meant to be encouraging, but had the opposite effect. "No thank you, I'm just fine with what I have."

After speaking Rose looked down at her lap, hoping that if she didn't pay him any mind that he would go away. Jesse sat there for another moment, and she saw him fiddling with her glass out of the corner of her eye. Rose finally caught a glimpse of Dimitri, and she turned her head toward his, completely disregarding Jesse, who was still seated at the table. When he caught sight of the big, burly man who had been sitting with Rose, Jesse took off, slipping Roses drink closer to her again.

By the time Dimitri sat back down at the table, Jesse was gone. Dimitri hadn't even seen him there in the first place. In fact, the only evidence that Jesse visited the bar that night was the small trace of roofies in Rose's drink.

**So I know what you are thinking, "First, Lydia makes us wait forever for both of her stories, and then she gives rape-date drugs to Rose! What the hell?" ….I happen to be thinking the same exact thing. But I'm being totally serious when I say this chapter wrote itself. **

**Super sorry for the wait on Moving On, I'm working on it, but I've hit a dead zone. Have no fear, I'm not giving up on it. And on a small note, I'm sure that by now everyone had read Last Sacrifice, so please, if you would like PM me your thoughts…there is nothing better than a good book discussion. And did you guys hear that Richelle and her husband are expecting a baby? I'm pretty freaking excited about that little tidbit. **


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